Sounds Like Selena
By Selena Ganguly
By Selena Ganguly
As spring settles in, I watch the petals from the cherry blossom tree slowly fall down onto the tiny puddle while the lonely petal swirls around as I stare at the reflection of my face slowly, reminiscing with one of the most intense emotions I’ve ever felt growing up, grief.
When you first experience grief, you are never really taught about the concept of it, you just know something is off from how you usually feel. This emotion is so strong compared to the others you have faced. It’s so jarring that at times it leaves you distraught wondering how your reality has been altered.
I can clearly remember the day when I lost my grandmother when I was quite young. I had no clue how to handle those emotions at the time. It felt like everyone around me moved on and I was just left behind dwelling on those feelings.
Now going into this pandemic I wasn’t expecting to revisit those emotions again. I was fortunate enough to not lose someone in my life, but I feel like I missed out on a portion of my life I won’t get back. Everything I wanted to do and become was nothing but just an unattainable and unrealistic hope which has turned into another wishful dream.
It’s already been a year into this pandemic and we are expected to have adjusted to this by now, but I still haven’t been able to comprehend everything that has happened. I’m still trying to process this new change and what it means for the future after this pandemic, but all I get back in return is, “get over it and move on.”
I know I’m not the only one who has been feeling this way where everything is moving so fast yet so slow at the same time, running aimlessly around those same unanswered questions, taking whatever voice which tells you what feels right in the moment, even though it’s not an answer you’re quite satisfied with, and, all of those feelings are valid, even the ones I haven’t mentioned.
You are not expected to get over everything on a certain day, date and time. That’s not how emotions realistically work. Some emotions can go from start to finish and stop there, but it doesn’t mean all of them do. Some are momentary, some are continuous, some take unexpected twists and turns. However long it takes for you though, is the right amount of time.
Until then keep on going, take care of yourself and surround yourself with those who will support you. Do not push yourself over the limit because your emotional state is not “stable” enough compared to everyone else, because that’s unrealistic for everyone to be in a good mood simultaneously. You will know when you are content with yourself, when the time comes to you, no rush.
When you first experience grief, you are never really taught about the concept of it, you just know something is off from how you usually feel. This emotion is so strong compared to the others you have faced. It’s so jarring that at times it leaves you distraught wondering how your reality has been altered.
I can clearly remember the day when I lost my grandmother when I was quite young. I had no clue how to handle those emotions at the time. It felt like everyone around me moved on and I was just left behind dwelling on those feelings.
Now going into this pandemic I wasn’t expecting to revisit those emotions again. I was fortunate enough to not lose someone in my life, but I feel like I missed out on a portion of my life I won’t get back. Everything I wanted to do and become was nothing but just an unattainable and unrealistic hope which has turned into another wishful dream.
It’s already been a year into this pandemic and we are expected to have adjusted to this by now, but I still haven’t been able to comprehend everything that has happened. I’m still trying to process this new change and what it means for the future after this pandemic, but all I get back in return is, “get over it and move on.”
I know I’m not the only one who has been feeling this way where everything is moving so fast yet so slow at the same time, running aimlessly around those same unanswered questions, taking whatever voice which tells you what feels right in the moment, even though it’s not an answer you’re quite satisfied with, and, all of those feelings are valid, even the ones I haven’t mentioned.
You are not expected to get over everything on a certain day, date and time. That’s not how emotions realistically work. Some emotions can go from start to finish and stop there, but it doesn’t mean all of them do. Some are momentary, some are continuous, some take unexpected twists and turns. However long it takes for you though, is the right amount of time.
Until then keep on going, take care of yourself and surround yourself with those who will support you. Do not push yourself over the limit because your emotional state is not “stable” enough compared to everyone else, because that’s unrealistic for everyone to be in a good mood simultaneously. You will know when you are content with yourself, when the time comes to you, no rush.